I am in a world of pain. On second thoughts I guess metaphysically I also live in a world which is full of pain. Hopefully I do something every day to help alleviate suffering in my corner of the world. All it takes is a little action from us all the change the world.
The metaphysical status of the world was not what I was planning on writing about. My body after squats and other measured torture is the thing causing pain today. I have taken two cups of coffee and plenty of carbs this morning and I wait for them to do some good!
The stairs seem a physical insult when I am this sore. I am grateful for the opportunity every day to keep my body in some kind of shape by challenging my legs, thighs and buttocks with stairs. Even so, I winced up it this morning and shuffled into a chair with a cup of black coffee.
While in a comfortable repose, getting coffee into my blood stream quickly and soaking up some beautiful winter sunshine, I did manage to alleviate some mental suffering. I…
I'm so not winning at the moment. My legs are aching from one end to other. I look four months pregnant such is the sexy bloating. I should not be surprised, this pain was a risk when I took myself off birth control pills.
I'm dealing with a time of the month reminiscent of the hellish ones I experienced as a teen and in my twenties. It's not easy and it's not pleasant. It's the reason I went on the pill to start with. I never want to feel the way I did on them again. I certainly do not want to go through the withdrawal again. This, while painful, is still better.
It's a heavy and painful cycle. Admittedly the chamomile tea is helping with the pain. I may have to take some pain killers too.
I enjoy having more energy most of the time and feeling like I am in my body. I also enjoy feeling energetic and interested in normal things. I enjoy having a healthy appetite for food and other things. The low part of my cycle is not pleasant though.
It's past my bed time and I ought to follow my own advice and go to bed. Ever struggled with depression though, or is it despair? Nothing like struggling with sleep for me to not want to go to bed!
I've been a lot sad this week. Almost overwhelmed with sadness. Pummeled by things beyond my control. I'm just waiting for the next thing to hit me from left field.
Among the gloom I have found just enough laughter and happiness to keep me going. Okay, maybe not happiness, joy. I've just enough joy to get me through tough times. Just enough love and care. My heart feels broken and we did not even have enough hot water tonight for me to have a hot bath to wallow my mood away. A hot shower is just not the same for when you want to seriously wallow your mood away.
I did walk too far for my body today to clear my head and it helped immeasurably psychologically. My legs are aching and not at all thankful though. I'm not sure that I will be doing too well tomorro…