Loving those I dislike (for a moment)
I wrote an article a few days ago about the loss in many quarters of the presumption of innocence and the flagrant irresponsibility of people who base decisions solely on feelings. While I stand by my comment that there are consequences to pulling someone's reputation through the mud, that those people may not care when life gives people lemons for their stupid actions, I do believe in looking after people truely in need.
Finding the right balance for me is about keeping the peace as much as I am able with family and the community. Sometimes I want to act solely based on how I feel and that is generally not a good idea. I do believe in extending grace to others, walking in their shoes and always trying to think the best of them even when hurt. This week I have been focussing more on creating a garden and trying to find a home and less on what is something on the way to forgotten. I am working hard on patience, and not turning to malicious gossip and I have trusted advisors when I know I need wise advice ( sometimes unsolicited).
I do believe forgiveness is a discipline and not something based on feelings. Forgiveness is a choice and behaviour based, and then I find the feelings generally follow. When mad I will talk about what I might do but it's generally just steam and something I would not want people to hear, or act on. I am not a perfect person myself. I am not talking about being a doormat, or ignoring callous abuse. I am talking about forgiving people for saying something that hurts and exasperates. Sometimes it can hurt because of where I am. Sometimes it is a difference of opinion and sometimes it's a difference of personality and perspective.
I'm imperfect and even while digging a garden and being productive it takes discipline to focus on giving people the benefit of the doubt. At times living at peace with others who I ultimately want the best for, for those I love even when I do not like them, is such a discipline. But I have been so loved like that myself so I will do my best to give it to others.