Life is precious

I am a woman who is in her thirties and does not have children.  You could call me lucky and blessed because I have children in my life.  That I am, blessed to have children in my life.  It would be lying though to say that my heart does not ache for my own.

I just wish that when people talk of women like me, for whom children are a long held dream, they understand that I did not choose this.  If life had been different I would have a messy home, more wrinkles and more laughter lines.

I did not choose to not have children, it's just the way my life has gone.  I do sometimes wonder why I did not just have a child minus a husband.  Family for me is about a father and mother and I know that dads are important.  I just couldn't be a single mother by choice.  I do wonder whether wanting the best was the right thing.  To my mind, being a parent is all about the best for the child, not me.  It's an attitude that does not get you any popularity.  It seems most people want to have a child for their happiness but I really still want a child because they would be so loved by my family.  I would love to give a child some of the happiness I received as a little child.

I do wonder about my choices but the irony is they were always taken with the hope of being a mother.  I chose to work hard with the educational opportunities I was given.  I pursued University in the hope it would lead to providing for a family like my parents did for me.  I have learnt to budget out of necessity but also because I saw my parents struggle yet manage beautifully.  I wanted to always provide more than a house, so I have tried to learn from my parents.  I love men that make good fathers.  I pursued health and wellness in the hope of healthy children.  Perhaps being a parent is not something I get in my life but I will always look to spread some of the love and time I received as a child, good parenting is forever.

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