I am a woman who is in her thirties and does not have children. You could call me lucky and blessed because I have children in my life. That I am, blessed to have children in my life. It would be lying though to say that my heart does not ache for my own.
I just wish that when people talk of women like me, for whom children are a long held dream, they understand that I did not choose this. If life had been different I would have a messy home, more wrinkles and more laughter lines.
I did not choose to not have children, it's just the way my life has gone. I do sometimes wonder why I did not just have a child minus a husband. Family for me is about a father and mother and I know that dads are important. I just couldn't be a single mother by choice. I do wonder whether wanting the best was the right thing. To my mind, being a parent is all about the best for the child, not me. It's an attitude that does not get you any popularity. It seems most people want to have a child for their happiness but I really still want a child because they would be so loved by my family. I would love to give a child some of the happiness I received as a little child.
I do wonder about my choices but the irony is they were always taken with the hope of being a mother. I chose to work hard with the educational opportunities I was given. I pursued University in the hope it would lead to providing for a family like my parents did for me. I have learnt to budget out of necessity but also because I saw my parents struggle yet manage beautifully. I wanted to always provide more than a house, so I have tried to learn from my parents. I love men that make good fathers. I pursued health and wellness in the hope of healthy children. Perhaps being a parent is not something I get in my life but I will always look to spread some of the love and time I received as a child, good parenting is forever.