Laughing at it

The last few days, I've found myself laughing about some pretty horrible periods of my life.  They are no less terrible by looking at it all, and laughing at the absurdity of the situation but I know that I am not defined by them when I can find something to laugh about.  It's easier to laugh at this side, and laughing at dark periods of my life means that I am healing.

It's such a relief for those experiences to be firmly in my past.  In between the laughing at my past horrible-ness, I've grieved a little more for people who I have lost in this life. too young.  Grief when you are in the midst of the early stages feels so dark, deep and impossible but if you are willing to grieve and seek help to get through it (if you need it, up two weeks of intense grief is normal, any longer and it's probably time to seek help) you hold the pain lighter and find yourself focused more on the good that came from the time with that person/s.

Grief teaches me that life is short.  It's such a cliche "life is short" and people sometimes think that I am being flippant when I say it, but I am not.  I just mean that while our entire culture focuses on "retirement" and "super" and paying off a huge mortgage and having the "perfect" life they seem to forget that all that stuff is fleeting.  They forget that a five bedroom house and a million dollars in the bank has little use if you are dead.  They lose focus completely.

There's nothing wrong with aspiring to have a few beautiful things.  I'd even argue there's nothing wrong with having a nice new house that you take pride in keeping clean and tidy with a beautiful garden.  I was always taught though that those things are blessings and not some ego trip.  I was taught that the more I was given and blessed with, the more I was expected to serve the world, even if all I can do is be there with family and friends, or help a stranger in need.  I was taught to not mistake my material possessions for character,  I was taught to be grateful for, and aim to have, just enough.  I was taught that you could lose it all in a second.  I guess my up bringing, and my experience with grief and loss, has taught me to hold life lightly.

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