It's not me. it's you (Olive Leaf Extract)

After four days and four nights of suffering, and no sleep due to pain and caffeine to deal with OLE (Olive Leaf Extract) side effects, I have decided to place the tablets somewhere useful.  Yes, I have placed them somewhere the sunlight does not get, namely the compost.

I know I wrote about the Herx, and healing side effects, and the hope that this might bring a bright new dawn.  In a way the OLE has brought a new dawn, I feel remarkably cheerful now I have not only decided to quit, but that I literally placed the remaining tablets in the compost.

I spent the wee hours of this morning considering the very real possibility that developing clinical depression might be the way to go.  Being a pain ridden, sleep deprived shell, I am sure I could have convinced someone I was depressed.  I was horribly depressed at the thought of putting myself through another twenty four hours.

I was even considering giving the OLE a go at a lower dose.  That made me feel gloomy too.  If you've read my last few blog entries, where I have tried to be honest, you will have read my optimism filled explanation that I've felt worse on treatments, and then better.  That maybe, just maybe, feeling worse would be worth it in the end.  Those words came back to haunt me this morning, in my tired, wired, guilt ridden, gloomy state.  I then gave them a little scrutiny, something that optimism has a habit of excluding from consideration, and concluded that in most cases that was horse manure.  The only exception I could think of was intelligent iodine supplementation, taken with co-factors, but even then, for all the nastiness, there was enough light to get me through.  In most cases, I felt lousy, and quit with a lighter wallet.  The things that work for chronic fatigue in my experience generally lack pain and suffering.

And boy, did I lighten up, cheer up, and get out of bed when I gave myself permission to quit.  Surely, one of the joys of getting older is learning when to let go of a bad strategy earlier.  It was, after all only an experiment, and finding out that OLE does not work for me is not failure, just another treatment off my list.

This morning in a steaming mug I have three anti-virals that make me feel good, elderberry (must be cooked/in boiling water) green tea and Lemon Myrtle and they are all anti-cancer agents too.  My life feels worth living while I drink my hot beverage too.  Surely quality of life, even for someone with chronic fatigue, is worth quitting OLE, to gain.

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